Practical Information that Parents Can Put to Use

Developed through a joint effort between NEA and National Parent Teacher Association (PTA), these guides provide parents and caregivers with fundamental tools to encourage their children's success in school.

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	A Parent's Guide to Preparing Your Child for School 4-color brochure ( 395 KB, 2pp, 8½ x 11) B&W plain text version ( 60 KB, 2pp, 8½ x 11)
	A Parent's Guide to a Successful Kindergarten Transition 4-color brochure ( 384 KB, 2pp, 8½ x 11) B&W plain text version ( 61 KB, 2pp, 8½ x 11)
	A Parent's Guide to Helping Your Child Do Well in School 4-color brochure ( 241 KB, 2pp, 8½ x 11) B&W plain text version ( 66 KB, 2pp, 8½ x 11)
	A Parent's Guide to Helping Your Teen Get the Most Out of High School 4-color brochure ( 275 KB, 2pp, 8½ x 11) B&W plain text version ( 56 KB, 2pp, 8½ x 11)
	A Parent's Guide to Raising Ready Readers—and Keeping Them That Way 4-color brochure ( 299 KB, 2pp, 8½ x 11) B&W plain text version ( 56 KB, 2pp, 8½ x 11)
	A Parent's Guide to Helping Your Child Learn to Read 4-color brochure ( 287 KB, 2pp, 8½ x 11) B&W plain text version ( 62 KB, 2pp, 8½ x 11)
	A Parent's Guide to Helping Your Child with Today's Math 4-color brochure ( 285 KB, 2pp, 8½ x 11) B&W plain text version ( 62 KB, 2pp, 8½ x 11)
	A Parent's Guide to Raising Scientifically Literate Children 4-color brochure ( 285 KB, 2pp, 8½ x 11) B&W plain text version ( 63 KB, 2pp, 8½ x 11)
	A Parent's Guide: Hey Mom, I Want To Be An Engineer! 4-color brochure ( 256 KB, 2pp, 8½ x 14) B&W plain text version ( 89 KB, 2pp, 8½ x 14)
	A Parent's Guide to Testing at Your Child's School 4-color brochure ( 278 KB, 2pp, 8½ x 11) B&W plain text version ( 63 KB, 2pp, 8½ x 11)
	A Parent's Guide to Choosing Supplemental Education Service Providers 4-color brochure ( 296 KB, 2pp, 8½ x 11) B&W plain text version ( 60 KB, 2pp, 8½ x 11)

The safety record for school buses is remarkable.  Traveling on a school bus is six times safer than the family car, and school buses record the fewest fatalities per 100 million  vehicle miles.

Most of the student injuries or deaths that do occur happen in the area outside the bus.  That's why being safety-conscious is not only important for school bus drivers, but also for students, parents and motorists.

We all have a role in making sure children's travel to and from school is safe.

Tips for parents

Parents can help protect their children in a variety of ways, including:

    * Dressing students in bright clothing that's easy to see and does not obstruct their vision;

    * Providing children with backpacks or book bags so they do not endanger themselves recovering dropped items;

    * Making sure that clothing and book bags are free of dangling drawstrings or other items that could get caught on the handrail or door of the bus as children are boarding or exiting;

    * Ensuring that students are at the bus stop a few minutes before the bus arrives;

    * Reminding children of their responsibility to behave properly while waiting for and riding on the bus;

    * Keeping bus stop areas free of trash cans, snow drifts in winter, or other obstructions that could make it difficult for the driver or other motorists to see children.

Teach your children

Many schools provide bus safety programs for young children.  Parents can help them learn about safety, too.

Be sure your children know and follow these rules to help them and other children stay safe, from home to school and back.

Walking to the bus stop

    * Be on time.  Give yourself plenty of time to reach the bus stop.  Arrive about five minutes early.  Walk quickly, but don't run.

    * Walk safely.  Stay on sidewalks or, if there are none, walk on the left side of the road facing oncoming traffic.  Cross the street only at intersections or crosswalks, and always look left, right, and left again to make sure no cars are coming. If possible, walk with a "buddy."

    * Never talk to strangers, accept rides or take anything from anyone you don't know.  If a stranger in a car approaches you, stay away and notify a parent, the bus driver, or another adult you know immediately.

    * Stay away from the side and rear of the bus.  It's not easy for the driver to see near the back tires, close to the sides, or right in front of or behind the bus.  Move away from the bus where the driver can see you.

    * If you must cross the street at your stop, wait for an "all clear" signal from the driver before you leave the curb.  Look both ways before crossing and always cross in front of the bus.

Waiting for the bus

    * Don't run around or play at the bus stop.  Behavior that may be OK for the playground can be dangerous at the bus stop.

    * Stay out of the street.  Traffic is often heavy in the morning.  You could be hit by a car or cause an accident if you're too close to the road and a car is forced to stop quickly.

    * Respect property.  Don't run across people's yards, climb their trees or fences, or wander into their buildings or garages.  Stay at the bus stop.

    * Be quiet.  Some neighbors may still be sleeping when you leave for school, so try not to be noisy.

Getting on the bus

    * Stand back from the road as the bus approaches.

    * Form a single line in front of the door.  Don't push or shove - wait your turn.

    * If you have to cross the street when the bus has stopped, look both ways before stepping into the street.  Motorists are required to stop, but don't always comply.  Never cross between parked cars. Stay far enough out in front of the bus that you can see the driver and the driver can see you.

    * Use the handrail when climbing aboard the bus.  Leave room for the student in front of you to climb aboard safely.

    * Move quickly but carefully toward your seat, making sure you don't bump into other students with your backpack or other items you may be carrying.

    * Sit down right away so you're not standing when the bus begins to move - you could lose balance and hurt yourself or another student.  If your bus has seat belts, you must buckle up.

Riding on the bus

    * Be quiet.  It's OK to talk quietly with people near you, but never scream or yell.  The driver needs to concentrate on the road.  Too much noise or sudden yells or screams could distract the driver.

    * Stay in your seat.  Never kneel or stand on the seat.  Do not get up and walk around.

    * Keep the aisle clear.  Nothing - including books, backpacks, legs, or arms - should block the aisle.

    * Keep yourself and your belongings inside.  If you are permitted to open the window, keep your hands, arms, head, and all objects in the bus.

    * Never throw anything while riding the bus - either out of windows or in the bus.

    * Share your seat.  Don't argue about who sits next to you.  This prevents other students from quickly and safely boarding the bus.

    * Always obey the driver and, if there is one, the bus aide.

Getting off the bus

    * Pay attention.  Be organized and ready to leave when the bus reaches your stop.  Don't keep the driver and others waiting while you gather your belongings.

    * Stay in your seat until the bus stops.  Don't push or shove while getting off.

    * Leave the bus stop area immediately so you are out of the way of the bus and other vehicles when the bus leaves.

In case of emergency

    * Stay calm.

    * Listen to the driver and follow instructions.

    * Older children should help by setting a good example and assisting younger children.

School staff and families...the more we work together, the more we'll help our children.

Article appears courtesy of New Jersey Education Association.
Used with permission.

Homework. Many students try to avoid it, but teaching and learning research indicates that children who spend more time on regularly assigned, meaningful homework, on average, do better in school, and that the academic benefits of homework increase as children move into the upper grades.

Parents and families play an important role in the process. Together, families and teachers can help children develop good study habits and attitudes to become lifelong learners.

On this page you'll find answers to questions many people have about homework, as well as specific advice for helping your children.

Why do teachers give homework?

Teachers use homework:

• to help students understand and review the work that has been covered in class

• to see whether students understand the lesson

• to help students learn how to find and use more information on a subject.

Homework is also the link between school and home that shows what children are studying.

Research shows that when homework is turned in to the teacher, graded, and discussed with students, it can improve students' grades and understanding of their schoolwork.

How much time should my children spend each night on homework?

Most educators agree that:

• for children in grades K-2, homework is more effective when it does not exceed 10-20 minutes each school day

• older children, in grades 3-6, can handle 30-60 minutes a day

• in junior and senior high school, the amount of homework will vary by subject. Most older students will also have homework projects, such as research papers and oral reports, that may have deadlines weeks away. They may need help organizing assignments and planning work times to make sure homework is ready to turn in on time.

Your children's teachers can tell you how much time they expect students to spend on homework. Place most concern on whether the homework is meaningful and whether over a period homework is assigned in all of the student's subjects.

Ask your principal if your school or school district has a homework policy. If it does, make sure that you and your children know and understand that policy.

How can I help with homework?

There are several ways in which you can help:

• Send your children to school each day, well-rested, fed and with a positive outlook.

• Take an active interest in your children's schooling. Ask specific questions about what happens at school each day and how your children feel about it.

• Try not to let any of your own negative experiences keep you from supporting and encouraging your children's learning. Let them know how much you care about education by continuing your own learning both informally and formally, to impress its importance upon them.

• If possible, set up a quiet, comfortable study area with good lighting and the school supplies that your children need. This can be almost anyplace in your home; you don't need a special room.

• Set a family "quiet time" where you and your children can work together on homework, reading, letter writing and playing games.

• Allow your children to study in the way each of them learns best. For example, some children work best when they're lying on the floor with background music playing.

Make homework a daily activity and help your children develop good homework habits.

Can my children do homework while listening to music or watching television?

Some students can work with a radio or stereo on, while others must work in silence. Television can be a big problem. Many teachers ask that the television be turned off while children are doing homework.

Research shows that American children on average spend far more time watching television than they do completing homework. Although it's worth noting that television can be a learning tool, it's best to leave the television off during homework time.

How much help should I give?

This depends on each child's grade level and study habits. Younger students often need extra homework help. First, make sure the child understands the directions. Do a few problems together, then watch your child do a few. When your child is finished, check the work. Praise right answers, and show how to correct mistakes.

Avoid doing your children's homework for them. Teachers need to see where your children are having trouble.

One of the most helpful things you can do is to show your children that you think homework is important. Many children today do their homework while their parents are at work. When you are at home, ask to see your children's homework and discuss it with them. Ask questions and be supportive.

What if I don't understand my child's assignment?

Today's students may have subjects that you never had or that you didn't like when you were in school. You can still help your children by praising their progress, getting help from a public library or homework hotline, and talking with their teachers.

You don't have to be an expert in a subject to help with homework. There are many places to go for help.

Do teachers really want me to ask them questions about homework?

Teachers want children to learn and want parents and families to be involved in their children's education. When you stay in touch with your children's teachers, they can ease your worries and offer their own homework tips and ideas on how you can help your children learn. Meet each of your children's teachers and ask what kind of homework will be given. This is very important, even if you have children in junior or senior high school.

Early in the school year and on occasion, ask teachers about your children's subjects and about homework policies. For example, ask what books your children will be using, what kinds of assignments will be given, and when the teacher is available to answer questions.

One of my children tries hard but still has problems with homework. What can I do to help?

There could be a number of reasons for your child's trouble. Suggest that the child ask the teacher for extra help before or after school. Tell your child it's good to ask the teacher about homework or anything else he or she doesn't understand. Set a time to meet with the teacher to discuss the problem. You may need to meet again during the year to check on how your child is doing.

If your child understands the work but is still having trouble, ask for a meeting with the teacher. The two of you should work out a plan to meet your child's needs.

My child seems bored by homework. Is this normal?

It's normal for students not to want to do their homework. But if your child always seems bored or unhappy, you need to try to find out the reason by talking with your child. Then talk with the teacher to come up with a solution.

Teachers want students to learn from homework. Tell the teacher if your child thinks the homework is too easy or too hard. This will help the teacher match homework with student ability and maturity levels.

When I ask my children if they have homework, they say that it's finished or that they don't have any. How do I make sure they're really doing their work?

Make studying, not just homework, a daily habit. Students can always review lessons, read a book, or work on practice exercises during quiet time, even if they don't have homework. Ask younger children to show you their homework so that you can check it, sign it, and date it. Teachers like to see that adults have checked children's homework. If your children's school has a homework hotline, call it to check for the day's assignments. If your children often have no homework to do, you should let their teachers know.

Don't ask your children if they have homework each night — assume that they always have homework or studying to do.

What if my child still isn't turning homework in?

State clearly and assertively to your child that you expect homework to be done and turned in to the teacher. Let your child know you will not tolerate irresponsible behavior about homework.

Don't wait until grades come out to find out if the problem has been solved. You may need weekly contact with the teacher until the student develops new habits.

Should I reward my children for doing homework or for getting good grades?

Children like to know when they've done a good job. Your approval means a lot. Praise your children's work often. Show pride when your children do their best, no matter what grades they get.

Be careful about giving money or gifts as rewards. Most teachers want parents to reward students' work in other ways. The next time your child does a good job on a school project, plan a special family activity as a reward.

Homework Hints

• Assume that your children will have studying to do every night.

• Ask your children if they understand their homework. If they do not, work a few examples together.

• Ask your children to show you their homework after the teacher returns it, to learn where they're having trouble and where they're doing well. See if your children did the work correctly.

• Stay in touch with your children's teachers. Ask about their classes and what they are studying. Ask their teachers how you can support what they are studying (flash cards, spelling, etc.).

• Remember, you and their teachers want the same thing — to help your children learn.

• Don't be afraid to get in touch with the teacher if you and your child don't understand an assignment or if your child is having a great deal of trouble. Almost all parents run into these problems, and teachers are glad to help.

• Don't do your children's work for them. Help them learn how to do it themselves.

• Show your children that you think homework is important. If you are at work during homework time, ask to see their work when you get home.

• Praise your children for doing well. Make praise a habit.

• Maintain a portfolio of "best pieces."

• Ask your school about tips or guides for helping your children develop good study habits.

• Help older students organize their assignments by recording them on calendars or planners, along with due dates, dates turned in, etc.

***

This guide is a joint project of NEA and National PTA.

If you’ve never heard of the Virginia Standards of Learning (SOLs), chances are your child hasn’t reached school age yet. The SOLs play a key role in determining what your child is taught, and an extensive testing program is in place to find out how well Virginia pupils can apply what they've learned.

Click here to download an excellent brochure from the Virginia Department of Education that explains the Commonwealth’s learning standards, the state testing regimen, and how you can help your child succeed.

Looking for ideas on books your kids will love? Teachers and librarians have some great suggestions. The following list was compiled from an online survey conducted by the National Education Association in 2007.

1. Charlotte’s Web by E.B. White
2. Where the Wild Things Are by Maurice Sendak
3. The Giving Tree by Shel Silverstein
4. Green Eggs and Ham by Dr. Seuss
5. Good Night Moon by Margaret Wise Brown
6. I Love You Forever by Robert N. Munsch
7. Because of Winn Dixie by Kate DiCamillo
8. Oh! The Places You Will Go by Dr. Seuss
9. The Little House by Virginia Lee Burton
10. The Polar Express by Chris Van Allsburg
11. Skippyjon Jones by Judy Schachner
12. Thank You Mr. Falker by Patricia Polacco
13. The Cat In The Hat by Dr. Seuss
14. The Lorax by Dr. Seuss
15. The Miraculous Journey of Edward Tulane by Kate DiCamillo
16. The Mitten by Jan Brett
17. Crunching Carrots, Not Candy by Judy Slack
18. Don't Let the Pigeon Drive the Bus by Mo Willlems
19. Harry Potter Series by J.K. Rowling
20. A Wrinkle in Time by Madeleine L'Engle
21. Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good Very Bad Day by Judith Viorst
22. Are You My Mother? by P.D. Eastman
23. Corduroy by Don Freeman
24. Lilly's Purple Plastic Purse by Kevin Henkes
25. Stellaluna by Janell Cannon
26. Tacky the Penquin by Helen Lester
27. The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe by C.S. Lewis
28. The Velveteen Rabbit by Margery Williams
29. Chicka Chicka Boom Boom by Bill Martin Jr.
30. Click Clack Moo: Cows That Type Doreen Cronin
31. Harold and the Purple Crayon by Crockett Johnson
32. Horton Hatches the Egg by Dr. Seuss
33. Junie B. Jones by Barbara Park
34. Little House in the Big Woods by Laura Ingalls Wilder
35. Make Way For Ducklings by Robert McCloskey
36. The Phantom Tollbooth by Norton Juster
37. Piggie Pie by Margie Palatini
38. The Little Engine That Could by Watty Piper
39. The Monster at the End of this Book by Jon Stone
40. The Tale of Despereaux by Kate DiCamillo
41. A Bad Case of Stripes by David Shannon
42. Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs by Judi Barrett
43. From the Mixed Up Files of Mrs. Basil E. Frankweiler by E.L. Konigsburg
44. Inkheart by Cornelia Funke
45. Maniac Magee by Jerry Spinelli
46. Officer Buckle and Gloria by Peggy Rathmann
47. Olivia by Ian Falconer
48. The BFG by Roald Dahl
49. The Kissing Hand by Audrey Penn
50. The Secret Garden by Frances Hodgson Burnett
51. The Sneetches by Dr. Seuss
52. The Very Hungry Caterpillar by Eric Carle
53. Tikki Tikki Tembo by Arlene Mosel
54. A Little Princess by Frances Hodgson Burnett
55. Bark, George by Jules Feiffer
56. Bunnicula by James Howe
57. Charlie and the Chocolate Factory by Roald Dahl
58. Charlie the Caterpillar by Dom DeLuise
59. Chrysanthemum by Kevin Henkes
60. Dear Mr. Henshaw by Beverly Cleary
61. Frederick by Leo Lionni
62. Frindle by Andrew Clements
63. Frog and Toad by Arnold Lobel
64. Guess How Much I Love You by Sam McBratney
65. Harris and Me by Gary Paulsen
66. Harry the Dirty Dog by Gene Zion
67. Hop on Pop by Dr. Seuss
68. How the Grinch Stole Christmas by Dr. Seuss
69. I Love You, Stinky Face by Lisa McCourt
70. Is Your Mama A Llama? by Deborah Guarino
71. Jan Brett’s books
72. Knots on a Counting Rope by Bill Martin Jr.
73. Little Women by Louisa May Alcott
74. Mike Mulligan and His Steam Shovel by Virginia Lee Burton
75. Miss Rumphius by Barbara Cooney
76. My Father's Dragon by Ruth Stiles Gannett
77. My Many Colored Days by Dr. Seuss
78. My Side of the Mountain by Jean Craighead George
79. No David! by David Shannon
80. One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish by Dr. Seuss
81. Where the Sidewalk Ends by Shel Silverstein
82. Stephanie's Ponytail by Robert Munsch
83. Swimmy by Leo Lionni
84. The Hundred Dresses by Eleanor Estes
85. The Boxcar Children by Gertrude Warner
86. The Dark Is Rising by Susan Cooper
87. The Empty Pot by Demi
88. The Five Chinese Brothers by Claire Huchet Bishop
89. The Giver by Lois Lowr
90. The Grouchy Ladybug by Eric Carle
91. The Hobbit by J.R.R. Tolkien
92. The Important Book by Margaret Wise Brown
93. The Last Holiday Concert by Andrew Clements
94. The Napping House by Audrey Wood
95. The Quiltmaker's Gift by Jeff Brumbeau
96. The Snowy Day by Ezra Jack Keats
97. The Story About Ping by Marjorie Flack
98. The True Story of the Three Little Pigs by Jon Scieszka
99. Tuck Everlasting by Natalie Babbitt
100. The Wide-Mouthed Frog: A Pop-Up Book by Keith Faulkner

By Ronald Dietel.

Teachers, parents, and schools have a common goal and shared responsibility to have children perform well on tests. Tests are, after all, the primary means on which students and schools are measured.

There's been plenty of advice on preparing for tests: Eat a good breakfast, sleep well the night before, avoid careless mistakes, and answer easy questions first. Rather than focusing on these physical and strategic aspects of test-taking, parents and students are better off knowing that success in test-taking depends on good instruction, parent support, and hard work by students.

How parents can help
Here are some suggestions on what parents can do to help their children perform well on tests, especially in a high-stakes environment.
• Instill the value of learning in your child at an early age.
• Make sure your children are good readers.
• Communicate frequently with your child's teacher or teachers.
• Know your child's learning progress and needs by monitoring assignments, homework, and test performance.
• Establish a regular time for homework and studying.
• Don't make your child nervous about tests, even big ones.
• Encourage your child to develop a positive attitude toward school and testing.
• Review tests with your child after they are returned home for what your child did and didn't understand.
• Remember, tests and grading systems are not perfect.

Some test experts say that when their children were growing up, they emphasized the learning process. "I focused on helping my children find methods of studying and reviewing that worked for them," said Dan Koretz, a Harvard professor and testing researcher. "I pushed them [my children] to discern what level of studying generally produced a given grade, which was often more than they initially thought."

"Doing well on tests ultimately means knowing the test content," says Joan Herman, co-director of the National Center for Research on Evaluation, Standards, and Student Testing at UCLA and author of several books on evaluation and assessment. "Getting good at format and knowing the tricks of test taking only take you so far if you don't know the relevant content and skills."

Ronald Dietel, Ed.D., is assistant director for research use and communications at the National Center for Research on Evaluation, Standards, and Student Testing at the University of California, Los Angeles.

Copyright 2000-2008 by National PTA. Used with permission.

By Mimi Doe

Many teachers have written to me over the years, frustrated with how unprepared their students are—and they don't mean academically. Chris, a kindergarten teacher, wrote what many teachers have expressed, "I would love it if you could write a 10 tips for parents to help us teachers do our increasingly demanding job. Many parents of children I teach have left the job of spiritual, character, and social/emotional education to me. I can't do it all in addition to teaching academic skills. I'm getting burned out and pretty soon won't have the energy left to nourish one child let alone 25."

So here goes—my 10 tips:

1. Create a smooth takeoff each day. Give your child a hug before she ventures out the door and you head to work. Look her in the eye, and tell her how proud you are of her. Your child's self-confidence and security will help her do well both in school and in life.

2. Prepare for a happy landing at the end of the day when you reconvene. Create a predictable ritual such as 10–20 minutes listening to your child talk about his day—before you check phone messages, read the mail, or begin dinner. That way you are fully present to listen, and your child has a touchstone he can count on between school and home.

3. Fill your child's lunchbox with healthy snacks and lunches. Have dinner at a reasonable hour and a healthy breakfast. A well-balanced diet maximizes your child's learning potential.

4. Include calm, peaceful times in your children's afternoons and evenings. Maintain a schedule that allows them to go to school rested, and if they are sick, have a system in place so they are able to stay home.

5. Remember it's your children's homework, not yours. Create a specific homework space that's clutter-free and quiet. Encourage editing and double-checking work, but allow your kids to make mistakes, as it's the only way teachers can gauge if they understand the material. It's also how children learn responsibility for the quality of their work.

6. Fill your child's life with a love for learning by showing him your own curiosity, respecting his questions, and encouraging his efforts.

7. Fill your home with books to read, books simply to look at, and books that provide answers to life's many questions. The public or school library is an excellent resource.

8. Be a partner with your child's teacher. When you need to speak to him or her in reference to a specific issue with your child, do it privately, not in front of your child. Make a point never to criticize your child's teacher in front of your child.

9. Set up a system where routine items are easily located—such as backpacks, shoes, signed notices. Create a central calendar for upcoming events to avoid the unexpected.

10. Tuck a "love note" in your child's lunch bag to let her know how special she is. Knowing they are loved makes it easier for children to be kind to others.

Mimi Doe is an expert on parenting and can be reached throughwww.spiritualparenting.com/mimi. Article appears courtesy of Mimi Doe and the National PTA.

Every school-age child in Virginia is entitled to a free, appropriate public school education. If your child has a disability, special education services may be required. Get the inside scoop on your rights and responsibilities in this excellent guide from the Virginia Department of Education.

You've been asked to attend a regularly scheduled "report card" conference with your child's teacher. Or you've gotten a special note from your child's teacher asking to see you. In either case, you might be a little nervous.

Well, relax. Teachers don't want to put parents on the spot. They just like to meet with parents from time to time to discuss how to help students do their best in school.

All children learn in different ways. They have their own individual personalities, and their own listening and work habits. To help their students learn new knowledge and skills, teachers must know as much as they can about each child's likes and dislikes. No one knows more about these things than you, the parents. And no one has more influence over your children than you.

That's why teachers need your help to do a first-class job. Working together, you and the teacher can help your child have a successful school year.

Here Are Some Things To Keep in Mind

• Start the conference right: be there on time, and plan not to run over the amount of time that has been set aside, usually about 40 minutes.
• If you are a working parent who can't arrange to meet during regular hours, make this clear to the teacher and try to set up a time to meet that is good for both of you.
• The best conferences are those in which both teachers and parents stay calm and try hard to work together for one purpose and one purpose only: to help your child do well. Arguing, or blaming each other for problems your child is having, helps no one.

Getting Ready

Each teacher will probably come prepared with samples of your children's work and with ideas to help them do even better in school. You should get ready for each conference, too.

Talk to your children before the conference. Find out what they think are their best subjects, and what subjects they like the least. Find out why. Also, ask your children if there is anything they would like you to talk about with their teachers. Make sure your children don't worry about the meeting. Help them understand that you and their teacher(s) are meeting together in order to help them.

Before you go to the school, write notes to yourself about:

• things about your child's life at home, personality, problems, habits, and hobbies you feel it's important for the teacher to know
• your concerns about the school's programs or policies
• questions about your child's progress
• how you and the school can work together to help your child

If your spouse can't attend the conference with you, ask for his or her concerns and questions.

The Conference

Some good questions to ask are these:

• Is my child in different groups for different subjects? Why?
• How well does my child get along with others?
• What are my child's best and worst subjects?
• Is my child working up to his or her ability?
• Does my child participate in class discussions and activities?
• Has my child missed any classes other than ones I contacted the school about?
• Have you noticed any sudden changes in the way my child acts? For example, have you noticed any squinting, tiredness or moodiness that might be a sign of physical or other problems?
• What kinds of tests are being done? What do the tests tell about my child's progress?
• How does my child handle taking tests?

It's a good idea to ask your most important questions first, just in case time runs out before you and the teacher have a chance to discuss them all. Be sure to ask the teacher for specific suggestions on ways to help your child do better. This is the most important part of the meeting. It will become your action plan. If the teacher says something you don't quite understand, don't be shy about asking for an explanation. It's a good idea to end the conference by summing up decisions you've made together. If needed, ask to meet again.

After the Conference

Start immediately on the action plan you and the teacher worked out together. Discuss the plan with your child. Make sure he or she knows that you and the teacher care. To see if the action plan is working, watch your child's behavior and check your child's class work and homework.

Stay in regular touch with the teacher to discuss the progress your child is making. Meeting with your child's teachers should help build strong parent-teacher partnerships—partnerships that are needed if you and your child's teachers are to reach your common goal of helping your child get the best education possible.

Copyright © 1987 The National PTA, National Education Association of the United States, Stock No. 5174-2, Making Parent-Teacher Conferences Work for Your Child

The hope of every parent is to have children who are responsible, concerned members of society. Discipline is, of course, part of this effort. Research has repeatedly shown that, despite the importance of the peer group, parents usually have much more influence than they realize. Disciplining children takes a great deal of effort, but the main idea is that children and parents can change.

Changing behavior requires much time and well-thought-out reactions. Some parents simply do not have the time, energy or patience to attempt to motivate change in the child or even in themselves. It is not easy, but read on. You will be convinced that it can be done. You can do it!

Positive Steps Toward Better Discipline

Let your children know you like them. Tell your children how much you admire their good qualities. Don't take their good behavior for granted. Remember to reward them once in a while. These rewards may take the form of extra time reading to your child, time spent in an activity chosen by your child, or even something as simple as a hug.

Listening to your children, hugging them, smiling or talking with them are all rewards, the kind that you can give hundreds of times every day. One of the most powerful rewards for children is the love, interest and attention they receive from their mother and father.

Let your children know exactly what you expect of them — set limits. Youngsters, who would be the last to admit it, find too much freedom frightening. Set limits for the actions that your children are not ready to control themselves. Children need to know exactly what parents expect of them and also how parents will react to their behavior.

It is important to state your requests clearly. For example, it is much easier for the child to follow the direction, "Please put your glass in the center of the table" than "Be careful with your milk. It's so close to the edge of the table it will fall off." Set rules that you think are important and be firm in seeing that your children follow them. Above all, do not make rules you have no intention of enforcing.

Encourage responsible decision making. Whenever possible, find areas in which you know your children can make decisions for themselves. If your child approaches you with a request you feel you should deny, try saying, "What would you say if you were in my place? What should I say? What would be my reason?" You'll find that if you treat children as responsible individuals, their level of responsibility increases rapidly.

Set a good example. Remember that children are great imitators. While you are telling your children why you think they should not steal, cheat or be cruel to others, be sure they cannot cite some example of your behavior that contradicts these values. Be honest yourself — hypocrisy shows.

Encourage your children to respect proper authority. At home, in school and in other areas of their lives, your children need to know the importance of respecting authority. It is a simple fact that some things cannot or will not be changed. Certain rules must be followed. Help your children understand that it is harmful to them, as well as to everyone else, to have constant arguments, fights and problems with peers and adults. Let your child see how his or her misbehavior affects other people.

Have fun with your children. Young people need to interact with adults. Try choosing a regular time each week to do things as a family. Engaging in sports, playing games, sharing hobbies, visiting museums are some of the many activities that parents and children can enjoy together. In addition, initiate your children to join you in some activities in which they may not usually be asked to participate. Also encourage your children to ask questions and to express their own points of view.

What About Punishment?

Thus far, we have approached the subject of discipline from a very positive standpoint. Changing behavior with positive methods is the best way. But it is a rather slow process, and you may find some behaviors of your child that you need to change more quickly.

Punishment, if used properly, will produce rapid changes in behaviors that disrupt the family. It is strongly recommended, however, that you use punishment sparingly. It does encourage the child to refrain from certain behaviors, but your real task as a parent is to teach the child to be a person. By using the more positive methods described earlier, you can teach the child positive ways of behaving.

Effective punishment relies on withholding rewards or privileges and provides a clearcut method of earning them back. Before punishing, it is a good idea to give a cue (a physical or verbal warning that the behavior is to stop at once). Then punishment should follow immediately after the offense so that the child understands the association between the misbehavior and the punishment.

Avoid physical punishment because other forms of discipline (short periods of isolation or withholding privileged activities) focus more on the behavior and less on the self-concept of the child. Hatred builds quickly when punishment hurts the child physically.

Realistically, however, because some physical punishment is likely, care should be taken that it is neither severe nor prolonged. Physical punishment can be harmful to a child and does not accomplish the goal. Besides, no parents want their children to fear them. If a parent slaps or hits a child in anger, the undesirable behavior may stop, but two things are wrong with this method:

• both parent and child are likely to be upset for some time
• no parent can hit a child every time he or she does something undesirable.

Don't Give Up

Consistency will determine the success of whatever discipline methods you use. Each time you ask your children to do something, you also have a job. Be predictable — follow through. Remember, too, that your children may have been misbehaving for some time. If this is the case, when you start to correct them, they may not think you mean it. They will learn that you mean business when you continue to follow your program consistently.

If you see your children slipping into behaviors you cannot correct by yourself, it may be time to seek outside assistance. When you feel you have exhausted your own efforts, your child's teacher, school counselor, or principal, your pastor or rabbi, or a child or adolescent psychologist may be able to suggest some helpful ideas and strategies.

Remember, changing or establishing parental discipline is a long, slow, often tedious, process. The important thing is to form a clear objective, then take a few steps at a time in that direction.

While the Internet has put a world of great resources at your child’s fingertips, it’s also put porno-spam in kids’ mailboxes and made children vulnerable to predators. One recent study of children ages 10-17 found that 42 percent said they had viewed pornography online in the past year—most of them unwillingly. Another study of students in middle and high school found that 10 percent admitted meeting face-to-face with a stranger they’d met on the Internet.

As a parent or guardian, you play the key role in helping your child make wise choices online. Our tips:

• Set ground rules for their time online. Agree on how much time online is allowed, and what sites are ok to visit. Sample “contracts” are available at sites such as www.safekids.com.
• Remind kids that information they post online can attract predators. Children should have usernames that do not give clues to identity and should not post photos or text that make it easy for strangers to locate them.
• Check out their profile on My Space or other social networking sites. Others are viewing their pages—and you should as well.
• Monitor online activity through a keystroke logging program that keeps track of sites visited and messages exchanged. We suggest you let your child know you’re doing this.
• Use filters that block certain web sites—your Internet Service Provider (ISP) may offer one for free. Note, however, that no filter is 100-percent effective.
• Know the signs that your child may be visiting inappropriate sites or communicating with unsavory people online. Examples: spending lots more time online (especially at night), turning off monitor when you enter the room, inappropriate sites listed in the computer’s history or cache.
• Stress that kids should never agree to meet with someone they’ve met online.
• Talk! Ask your child to show you her favorite web sites, and talk about any concerns you may have about her online activity.
• Report suspicious online activity to your ISP and, if necessary, local law enforcement. For serious breaches, try the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children’s Cyber-tipline at www.cybertipline.com.
   

Want to learn more? These web resources can help:

www.netsmartz.org
A great feature called NetSmartz411 answers all your questions about Internet safety and helps you decipher the latest online lingo.

www.safekids.com
Highlights include a “safe blogging” guide for teens as well as a family contract on safe Internet use that you and your child can sign.

www.isafe.org
Informative interactive modules on Internet safety appropriate for parents, educators, and kids.

Halloween Safety Reminders 

Many of us have treasured memories of Halloween when we were growing up. As Parents, let's make sure it's just as fun--and safe. Some tips courtesy of the Kansas affiliate of the National Education Association.

Know where your children will be on Halloween

The best time to trick-or-treat is early evening. Preschool through third grade youngsters should be accompanied by an adult or responsible teenager. Older children should go with friends. Parents can help plan a route map for trick-or-treating around the neighborhood. And remind them only to visit homes or apartments where the lights are on.

Set time limits with your children

How about tucking an alarm clock in the bag of older trick or treaters to signal when it's time to come home?

Review pedestrian rules

Cross streets at corners; watch for traffic in all directions; stick to sidewalks if possible; don't walk between cars or cut through vacant lots. Give kids a flashlight with fresh batteries.

Emphasize that all goodies need to be brought home for inspection before eating

Any doubt about something in the bag? Throw it out! Allow your child to eat only those treats that come in original, unopened wrappers. To avoid squabbles, combine all the food into one bag or bowl!

Costumes should be white or light

Decorate with reflective tape so motorists can easily see small ghosts and goblins.

Make-up or grease paint is better than a mask

Most make-up kits are non-toxic. Use liberal amounts of cold cream to remove.
If your child does wear a mask, enlarge the eyeholes until he/she can see clearly.

Try on costumes before Halloween

Ask your child to walk around the house a bit. That way you can fix anything that might cause a fall or is constrictive.  If the weather turns very cold, will it fit over a sweater or sweatshirt?

Strange costumes may frighten house pets

Instruct children to stay clear of cats and dogs while in costume. A strange costume can make even the tamest dog aggressive.