The Search for Home
October 8, 2025
October 8, 2025
By Ty M. Harris
Just eight months ago, I received the most incredible validation of my life’s work to date. Education Week recognized me as a “2025 Leader to Learn From” for my work involving equity. The timing turned out to be rather ironic: In the period between the editors’ notice and the official announcement, diversity, equity, and inclusion (DEI) came under attack. By the time the article was published, attempts to remove DEI were well underway.
During those attempts, I’ve sought out silver linings. I’m grateful to have some familiarity with the opponent we face, which isn’t a person, but apathy disguised as civility. This adversary equates silence with neutrality and believes that sameness is synonymous with fairness. It confuses comfort with courage. Those of us who have been working to promote equity—the idea that every student is worthy of getting what they need to succeed—were not surprised by these developments, but we are disheartened and frustrated, as this has long been a challenge in education. Just when we thought we were truly beginning to make progress, we’ve been forced into retreat. So, the struggle continues. I find solace in knowing that progress is still possible. But how do we begin?
How can we succeed in our mission to truly serve all students and staff when many strategies and techniques are considered “questionable”? What is preventing people from feeling heard, valued, and respected? What prevents students from taking risks or families from getting involved? The short answer: absence of a sense of belonging, the root cause of a problem plaguing many of us at some point. Belonging is an essential human need, as primary to our well-being as food and shelter. Maslow’s hierarchy of needs specifies it as core to psychological health, citing its significance for self-esteem and self-actualization.
Without a sense of belonging, we can experience feelings of loneliness, isolation, and even depression. While many articles recognize the importance of belonging, they often fail to provide concrete steps for achieving it. And, while typically there is a heavy emphasis on students, we cannot forget that adults also need to feel a sense of belonging, not only for their peace of mind and well-being, but to be able to extend grace to students.
Three years ago, my office, then called the Office for Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion, created the T.I.D.E. (Togetherness through Inclusion, Diversity, and Equity) Coalition in Virginia Beach City Public Schools, a community of practice made up of students, staff, and community members. This was in response to survey data suggesting that a sense of belonging was a concern in our secondary schools. T.I.D.E. students reviewed data with administrators, then identified at least one action they could take to improve their peers’ sense of belonging. Research by experts including Dana Mitra and John Hattie routinely shows that belonging improves when students are involved, so we took the approach of elevating student voice to identify challenges and allowing them to participate in finding solutions. Far too often, we fail to include students in discussions that directly impact them. It didn’t take long for students to implement some of their ideas, and within one year, the number of students who felt a sense of belonging in their school rose by over 10 percent.
Additionally, students shed some light on why more than half of their peers reported not feeling a sense of belonging at their school. A standard narrative emerged: adults often act as bystanders rather than upstanders, meaning adults don’t always intervene when they witness behaviors detrimental to a positive school culture. This was all happening at light speed, so we decided to slow down, catch our breath, and dig deeper. We hosted a workshop for division and school leaders to find a way to enhance everyone’s sense of belonging. This led to a new framework to guide our efforts, the C.A.R.E. (Connection, Achievement, Responsiveness, Engagement) Continuum.
The C.A.R.E. Continuum is an exciting pathway to develop a division-wide approach for addressing belonging. This year, we are introducing the framework to students in the T.I.D.E. Coalition, while also exploring themes with a new group of stakeholders called the C.A.R.E. Collaborative, made up of students, teachers, administrators, parents, central office staff, and a school board member. We are committed to ensuring that everyone understands that they matter.
I know “equity” gets tossed around a lot, but let’s be real: you can’t have true belonging if you’re not making space for everyone, especially those who are often left out. So, we’re keeping equity front and center. It’s not just a box to check; it’s the backbone. Here’s what C.A.R.E. is all about:
Connection is how humans achieve a sense of belonging. For adults, connection is about much more than just being on campus or in faculty meetings together. It’s about genuine relationships; the kind built on trust or a shared laugh in the hallway. Belonging isn’t just signing your name on a duty roster. It’s looking around the classroom or the staff room and knowing, “These people have my back.” When you feel connected to others, firm bonds are established.
Those bonds are forged and fortified through shared experiences. When individuals or groups navigate challenges, celebrate successes, or engage in everyday activities, they create a collective history and a shared identity. Amazing things happen in those shared experiences. I think about the challenges faced during the COVID-19 pandemic. First, the uncertainty of it all, a collective wondering about what was happening. Then, pulling together to hand out computers, prepare packets, or create virtual lessons. After a few months, the focus shifted to preparing the building space for reduced capacity or placing stickers throughout to remind people to maintain a six-foot distance. We did that together, and I’m sure everyone has a few poignant stories to tell. These moments, big and small, become the inside jokes and war stories that bond a team. Suddenly, it’s not just “my class” or “your department,” it’s “our school.”
Ultimately, the emotional core of belonging is the profound feeling of being understood and valued. Genuine connection flourishes when we feel safe expressing our authentic selves without fear of rejection. When our perspectives are heard, our feelings are validated, and our contributions are recognized, we feel seen and appreciated for who we are. This affirmation solidifies our place within the group, confirming that our presence matters.
Connection is not a passive state but an active, relational process. By cultivating meaningful relationships, participating in shared experiences, and fostering an environment where individuals feel understood and valued, we build the bridges that lead to genuine belonging. It is through these vital connections that we satisfy one of our most profound human needs, providing the stability required to thrive.
While we often discuss student achievement, what about the adults who support them? Achievement isn’t just about test scores or gold stars for perfect attendance. For teachers and leaders, it’s about setting goals with your team. It could be rolling out a new curriculum or just getting through a week without losing your sanity, and then making it happen. That shared victory? It’s like winning the Super Bowl. Everyone gets a little swagger in their step. Achievement, while often viewed as an individual pursuit, is a powerful catalyst for fostering a deep sense of belonging, which can be understood through Maslow’s research. Achievement solidifies our place within a group by fulfilling our higher-level needs for esteem. After our physiological and safety needs are met, we seek love and belonging. Directly above this is the need for esteem, which includes self-respect, confidence, and recognition from others. Achievement is the primary vehicle for satisfying these esteem needs. When we feel competent and respected, our sense of belonging transitions from simple association to secure, meaningful membership. We no longer question if we belong; we think we have earned our place.
In Belonging Through a Culture of Dignity, Floyd Cobb and John Krownapple introduce an important concept called the belonging gap: The incorrect notion that people have to achieve before they’ll be accepted. As someone who routinely felt like I didn’t belong until I won a race or scored a touchdown, I fully agree that it happens far too often. The more I dug into the research, however, the more I found that it doesn’t have to be that way. Achievement can lead to a greater sense of belonging. Here are some examples to illustrate my point.
Achievement is the receipt that says, “Yep, you belong here.” It’s what makes your role in the school real, not just a paycheck, but a piece of the heart of the place. That’s how you go from just showing up to being part of something worth coming back to.
Belonging doesn’t come overnight because you put a “Welcome” sign on the door. It’s built day by day, based on consistency and actual responsiveness.
Imagine a student who finally works up the courage to tell you they don’t understand the material, or a colleague who tells you they feel left out of the planning committee. If you dismiss their problem as them just being needy, then you’re missing the point. But if you pause, listen, and take action, such as redistributing their load or bringing them in, you realize why it’s so important. That kid or co-worker suddenly has that feeling of, “Hey, I matter here. My voice isn’t background noise.” It’s like a move from the sidelines to center stage in your own High School Musical moment. Suddenly, everyone is in this together. This trust fosters a sense of being supported. Knowing you can raise a concern without fear of rejection or punishment is a safety net.
Additionally, a thoughtful response is an opportunity to express empathy. If your colleague tells you that she’s burning out or if your student is stressed out about exams, don’t just say “Hang in there!” and push it off. Approach them, ask them how they’re doing, and maybe share a time when you experienced the same thing. That’s what breaks barriers. Lastly, these interactions result in the profound understanding that people care. Responsiveness is the most substantial evidence of care. It is the knowing that you are not a number or a title, but an individual of worth whose voice is heard.
This feeling of being cared for is the key to feeling a sense of belonging. When the culture of the building means worry is met with a response, help is consistent, and compassion is present, you have something special. Individuals will feel secure, appreciated, and genuinely part of something beyond themselves. What’s the old saying, “People won’t care how much you know until they know how much you care”?
If responsiveness is the heart, engagement is the spark. You can’t simply hope students or teachers will feel like part of the team when they’re relegated to the sidelines. You have to bring them in, offer them tasks, and let them host the morning announcements, just like it’s their episode of Abbott Elementary (I love that show). Request suggestions, allow them to take things and run with them, and honor their victories.
When you do that, suddenly, the school becomes essential to everyone. They’re not passengers, they’re driving the bus. Belonging is built through meaningful engagement. This happens across several themes, beginning with participation. Simply being present somewhere is not sufficient; belonging flourishes when one shifts from being an observer to a contributor.
Active participation is most potent when united around a common purpose. When people work together toward a shared objective, whether it is winning a championship, completing a project, or contributing to a community, their contributions become interdependent. Their common purpose coordinates their actions and incentives, creating a unifying force that transcends personality differences. As they strive together for this shared goal, an identity emerges. The “we” becomes more significant than the “I.” Individuals begin to see themselves reflected in the group’s identity, and the group’s identity as an extension of the self.
This shared identity is a powerful anchor, serving as the basis for belonging to a unique and recognizable group. When one’s work and contribution are welcomed and appreciated, it sends a compelling message: “Your presence and your effort are crucial to our success.” This acknowledgment serves as the emotional foundation of belonging.
Belonging is not merely a desirable state but a fundamental human need. By nurturing connection, fostering achievement, demonstrating responsiveness, and promoting engagement, we can cultivate a stronger sense of belonging for ourselves and others. Prioritizing belonging in our relationships, communities, and institutions is essential for creating a more compassionate and thriving world.
Your method for addressing belonging, whether through the C.A.R.E. approach or one you develop locally, can’t just be a poster you hang up next to a faded “Hang in There!” kitten. It means listening, showing up, and making space for every story, not just the loudest ones. And it means facing the hard stuff as well. Because when students and teachers feel like they belong, you don’t just get better test scores; you get better humans. And at a time when educators seemingly need to pick their battles with caution, if that’s not worth fighting for, I don’t know what is.
Ty M. Harris, Ed.S., a member of the Virginia Beach Education Association, is the director of the Virginia Beach City Public Schools Office for Opportunity and Achievement (formerly the Office for Diversity, Equity and Inclusion).
The average pay of Virginia public school teachers in 2023-24 was $65,830. That is $4,260 below the national average of $70,090.
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